Friday, May 1, 2009

Operation Camper Extraction: Mission Accomplished with Minimal Casualties

Wake Up: 5:35

Push Ups: 70
Sit Ups: 20
Pull Ups: 10

Went to bed late last night and was regretting it when I got up at 5:35am. By the time I sat down this morning, it was too late to get involved in a writing project so here I am writing this blog.

I picked up the camper yesterday. Would you like to know how that went? Well, I'll tell you anyway.

I loaded the necessary and unnecessary tools into my truck, buckled my son in and we were off. I tend to over bring tools. Seriously, I bring so much stuff! Yeah even a small generator and skill saw.

We drove to Springfield, so it wasn't too far from our house, 25minutes on the highway. It was our second trip up, as I had already looked at the camper on Tuesday, hoping to take it then, but it was in worse shape than I had hoped.

In order to take it, I had to add tail lights, put something over the gaping hole in the roof (previous owners took apart roof with lofty intentions and left it that way) secure doors, and check miscellaneous wires sticking out of the side of the camper. The woman that was giving it away, said Thursday would be fine.

So when we got up there yesterday, to my surprise there was a car parked directly in front of the camper. I knocked on the door of the house......... No answer!

A little frustrated, I walked back to the camper. I didn't want to make this trip for nothing, waste gas, or just sit around all day for someone to come back. So I reaccessed the situation.

After all, the lady said I could have the camper.

The camper was parked on the side of a hill, the car was preventing me from gaining access from the left and the STEEP hill on the right was the only way to get at it. I said what the heck, stuck the truck in 4X4 and backed it up the hill.

Surprisingly, I managed to get at the camper after a few tries and hook it up.

Oh yeah! That's right, nothing stands between me and a dilapidated camper!

So I hooked it up, backed up and turned around. Ready for a quick exit, just in case some overzealous neighbor thinks I'm stealing this gem.

I unloaded the tools, ladder, tarp, screws. Climbed on the roof while Marcus "helped" me from down below. The lady finally shows up. She apologizes for parking in the way, all the while trying to figure how I actually managed to get at the camper. She explains that she didn't want me to drive over her leach field.

"Oh shit!" Literally.........

Should have left a note.

So anyway, I attached the tarp to the roof and on the second to last screw, I managed to drive the screw gun into my thumb.

Funny thing is, when I was over packing my tools I saw the first aid box I keep in the car. I shook my head and said "What do I need that for?"

I remembered that as I was climbing down the ladder, while blood was dripping from my hand. "Marcus..." I said to my son. "I need a band aid."

He says, "Where that band-aid box Daddy?"

I laugh....... all the while looking for a band-aid. I strike gold in the glove box. One band-aid and a lot of blood. Great.......I roll up a small wad of paper towel, put it under the band aid and, okay here we go, wrap electrical tape around the band aid. Yeah I know.......

It stopped bleeding. My son looks at the electrical tape. "Why you do that Daddy?"

I hold up my hand. "I'm handy."

So by now, Marcus has just about every tool from my tool box scattered across the lawn, "helping" me out. I tell him,

"Make sure you put all the tools back little man."

"Yeah Daddy."

So it's hot out now and I just want to go. I finish running the tail lights, check them and make sure they are fine. I take one last look at this gem that I have procured, and shake my head. I can only imagine the looks I will get going down the road towing this jalopy. The tattered tarp flapping in the wind, cut electrical wires sticking out from the sides, broken windows, and a set of new taillights. What a deal.

I take all the back roads home, in fear that something will fall of if I go in speeds of over 45mph.

When I finally pull in the driveway, I breathe with ease. Ahhhh.... another camper extraction accomplished.

I can only imagine what my neighbors say.

"Oh no. Not another one. He just got rid of the last one...."

Wait till they see what I am going to do with it. It will look wonderful as I dismantle it in the driveway.

Oh well, it can't be much worse than the neighbor four houses down from us. Man, they have a junk yard!

That's The Thoughts Of A George for today. I'll be back on Tuesday.

Back to work tomorrow, got to pay the bills. This camper surly won't.


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