So I went to pick up the camper yesterday!
I wish I could tell you that it's a beautiful camper, maybe an old Airstream, Avion or something old style camper with charm, but I can't....nope... sorry.
We drove an hour and a half, up to Tuftenborough NH, and managed to pull into their driveway at about 11:30am.
As soon as I pulled into the driveway, my stomach sank. It was overgrown, unmaintained and the strategically placed junk was kind of a tell tale sign. But I remained hopeful and drove forward.
I left the kids in the truck and knocked on the door. The booming sound of dogs barking filled the air.
I waited, then a lady answered the door with a twelve month old on her hip. "I'm here to pick up the camper." I said
She looked genuinely surprised, and that was my other tell tale sign. "Well....." she said putting her shoes on. "I'll have to walk you out there." So she opened the gate and two large dogs tackled me. They were very nice dogs, just excited to see people I guess. So I grabbed the kids and held Marcus, knowing they would swarm all over him. They tackled Jorgie with kisses, but she managed to stay standing.
So we walked back up the driveway and down a very overgrown road. The road was strew with old limbs about the size of my arm, sink holes, and old farm equipment pushed to the side. But despite all that, I still tried to remain hopeful. So we walked out into the field and there it was. It had been there so long, small pine tree saplings had grown around it.
I looked at the tires, and they were very low. I shrugged my shoulders and said...... "I'll see what I can do." In George translation, it means I'll get this son of a bitch out of here.
So we walked back to the truck and loaded the kids in. We drove out there, I backed the truck up and unloaded my tools. The first thing was the tires. I unloaded my generator, my compressor, and tire iron. I started the generator, plugged the compressor in and started filling the tires with air. The first two were fine, they held air. I went to the other side..... and that was when I found that one of the tires was totally off the rim. I took a deep breath.....and then another deep breath..... and went back to the truck.
By now the kids had retreated back to the safety of the truck. I asked them why? ..... that was when Jorgie said she found a tick on her. I said "Oh......" and wondered if there were any on me. Oh well! I thought.
Went back to the camper and decided to look inside it. Yeah.... that's right, I hadn't looked in it yet. I saw the lady look in it when she was out there, but she had shut the door quickly.
So I opened up the door and quickly realized why she had shut the door. There was a bat flying around inside... Yes a bat. So I shut the door quickly too.
I did manage to get a quick look at the inside. And guess what, despite the fact that the lady had said in the email that the camper was dry inside........ NO IT WASN'T:
Here is a copy of the email she had sent me........
No, we haven't gotten ride of it yet. I will send details later today - it doesn't leak, it needs some TLC - but was lived in while our house was built (in 1999). It's biggest problem is that it has been sitting unoccupied but really it's in good shape for a freebie. If you want to come get it - please do - you can give my husband a call today at 569-6016. His name is Nelson.
Maybe..... just maybe they shouldn't have said any of that. They should really have said that it was a piece of junk and should be used for scrap.
I know... I know... it's free right.
So anyway about the tire. Despite three tires holding air, I still had one tire that was flatter than a root beer soda shaken not stirred. I walked around the back of the camper, took another deep breath and then there it was, right there fastened to the back bumper. It was a spare. A very attractive round looking piece of rubber. I never thought a tire could look so sexy. Trust me, you don't see too many spare tires on campers much.
I swapped the tire, threw the old one in the camper, and quickly shut the door. I don't know what I was thinking, I should have left it open so the bat could get out.
I hooked the camper up and managed to slowly tow it out of the field. I got on the driveway, and checked the lights. Only one of the tail lights worked, but that was sufficient enough for me.
I got in the truck and then found a tick on my neck that hadn't started snacking on me yet. I squished him and then started on our way. Me. the kids, and a large hunk of junk on wheels, and a lonely old bat.
We made it home in one piece, no flats, no things falling of the camper and we all survived.
I've had that happen...... once I hit a large bump and off went a back storage door. Luckily it slid off and didn't hit any cars.
So now it sits in the driveway waiting for me. The ceiling is falling in from leaks, the floor is soft from leaks and it is infested with hornets. Awesome!
Oh, last night when I was doing dishes I found a second tick on me and yes, he was happily having me for dinner. At least until I plucked him out and squished him. Oh, and you know what kind of camper it is. It's a Twilight camper. Jorgie pointed that out and said that was why there was a bat in it, you know like the Vampire movie... Twilight.
Funny isn't it.
Well, there it sits in the driveway. Ill be able to salvage some stuff from it, like the old propane fridge and the furnace. Besides that, I have no idea what I am doing with it. Maybe I can use it as a planter.... oh wait no we aren't in Maine.... That's right. Sorry I couldn't help myself.
We shall see. Well that's it for today. Those are the Thoughts of a George,